Divorce and
Remarriage
Introduction
Divorce
and remarriage is a global issue. It is a challenging issue for any community
all over the world. According to the news and information, we come to know that
the rate of divorce and remarriage is increasing year by year. Great authors
and scholars including committed Christians are trying to deal with this issue
from different perspectives. A lot of Bible-based articles, researches and books
are done in the area of this subject. Based on those writings, I will write
this short paper. This paper will be divided into five parts. The first part
will deal with the issue, meaning and nature of divorce and remarriage. The
second will be the perspective of some selected historic fathers on this
subject. The third will be biblical point of view in both Testaments and fourth
will be four different Christian perspectives on divorce and remarriage. The
final will be my suggestions as pastoral action for today.
I.
The Issue and Nature of Divorce and
Remarriage
Jesus
said “they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined
together, let man not separate” (Matt.19:6). It is Jesus’ affirmation on the original
intension of marriage in God’s creation order. (Gen.2:24). We, Christians, accept that God is the author
of marriage and He is the One who joins husband and wife as one. J. Carl Laney simply
defines marriage as “the legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
Marriage is an honorable estate (Heb.13:4) that God has ordained (Gen2:23-24). In
the original plan of God, there are atleast three parts in marriage: to leave,
to cleave and to become one flesh. A man will leave his parents and cleave to
his wife. And they will become one flesh. Marriage is a permanent relationship
between husband and wife until death. Paul also affirms that death only can
separate marriage relationship (ICor.7:39; Rom. 7:2-3).There is no intention of
divorce and remarriage in God’s original plan.
However,
the original plan of God on marriage is now lies in ruins and the rate of
divorce and remarriage is increasing. In his introduction, Robert J. Plekker
takes note “these days nearly everything is increasing: the price of gasoline,
the cost of living, the crime rate, alcoholism and yes, even the number of
divorce.” It
is undeniable fact that the rate of divorce and marriage is growing any part of
the world. And it is a global issue. In
1994 in the United States there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million
divorces. The total number of divorced people in U.S. was 17.4 million in 1994.
One in every two marriages ends in divorce. There were 338,000marriages, over a
third of which were remarriages, and just under 180,000 divorces. Almost four
in ten marriages end in divorce. In 2010 the number of divorce and annulment in
the United States was 872,000 of the total population 244,122,529. The
rate per 1,000 total population of divorce is 3.6%. Also,
i
n
Asian country such as Japan the rate of divorce is increasing. In Japan 289,838 couples divorced in 2002 and
this record hit 2.3 percent for every 1,000 people. It is more than double the
rate of 1.07 in 1975.
John Jefferson Davis defines divorce as “the
legal or customary decree that a marriage is dissolved.” The term is
derived from the Latin divortium, from diverter, divortere,
means “to separate.” However,
For Ken Stewart, divorce is more than “merely the dissolving of a
partnership. Rather it is nothing less than the separation of two spirits which
have been molded and melted together into one.”
It is a separation of two spirits that was one in the duration of their
marriage. Webster also defines divorce as “a separation…. to turn and go
different ways…1. In law, a legal dissolution of the bonds of matrimony, or the
formal separation of husband and wife by a court. 2. Separation; disunion of
things closely united.”
Now that two in one spirit becomes one in two spirits. Anyway, we can say that
divorce is a legal declaration for separation between husband and wife through
signing together on one legal paper. It is an official announcement of the
dissolution of marriage.
There are many reasons that cause divorce and
remarriages. It is good to divide sociological and spiritual reasons for the
causes and growth of divorce and remarriage in today world. John Stott makes a
list for sociological factors that encourage the growth of divorce. They include “the emancipation of women,
changes in the pattern of employment, the pressures on family life exerted by
unemployment and financial anxiety and of course the provisions of the civil
law for easier divorce.”
Spiritually, according to him, the
greatest reason in the west is, “the decline of Christian faith” and “the loss
of commitment to Christian understanding of the sanctity and permanence of
marriage.” Spiritual
ignorance and commitment are also the top reasons in Stewart’s writing.
In short, we can have multi-reasons from
multi-dimensions for the cause and growth of divorce and remarriage.
Anyway, we can say that divorce and remarriage
is something what we are and get through what we choose and do. As it is not
included in the original intension of God in creation order, we can say that it
is the outcome of the Fall and the sinfulness of human being. Jesus also
affirms it in his answer to the Pharisees’ question “is it lawful for a man to
divorce?” He said that Moses permitted
divorce because of “your hearts were hard” (Matt.19:8). As the effect of the
original sin, human heart is hard to obey and follow God’s will. It astray from
the way of the Lord and follow our “own evil desires.” (James.1:14) It is the
starting point. Divorce and remarriage starts from what our own evil desire
wrongly choose and do action. But God is passionate and gracious so that our
sins are forgiven and we are accepted as His beloved children in Christ. God
forgives any sins including the sin of divorce and remarriage. What we need is
a heart of repentance, not to do again a wrong choice and action.
II.
In the Bible
A. In
the Old Testament
As
the bible is a combination of two books, it is crucial to have a study on the
Old Testament about divorce and remarriage. In Gen.2:24, we clearly can
see the intension of God for marriage between a man and woman. This scripture
portion says, “A man will leave his father and mother” to be united to
his chosen wife and they become “one flesh.” Marriage is not just
leaving the parents, but it is to cling to one another, to hold on to one
another at all costs. As soon as they marry, husband and wife are not two
persons anymore, but they are now one person (one flesh). Marriage was designed
to be indissoluble and an enduring relationship through life. And there is any
provision for divorce and remarriage in the orders of creation.
Here in this passage, we cannot see about divorce in God’s intension of
marriage. It is clear that marriage is for permanence.
There
is no exact law that directly makes provisions for divorce in the Bible. But
significantly many laws are touching on this area as a restriction to divorce.
Among those laws, Deuteronomy 24:1- 4 is the first law.It is the law of God’s given to his chosen
people. It is a law of divorce that also restricts remarriage.
The Bible says, “if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him
because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate
of divorce, gives it to her and sends her…” (v.1). According to this verse,
divorce is permitted in Israel. But it is not directly legislated for and is
not encouraged. However, it is very exceptional case “something indecent.” It
is difficult to know the exact meaning and level of it and there was a hot
debate on it. But it may be related to “immodest or indecent behavior” especially
in sexual relationship.
For
doing divorce, there is a requirement that is a certificate of divorce.
(Deut.24:1,3; Jer. 3:8; Isai. 50:1). It is a legal document and gave the woman
freedom obligations to her husband. It is a good protection of the wife from
unjust demands or accusations and hindrances from her husband. According to
Mishnah, there are some kinds of limitation for divorce in ancient Israel. The
requirement was to be atleast two witnesses. Three kinds of bills of divorce
are determined as invalid: first, a man wrote with his own hand but no
witnesses to it, second there were witnesses but which bore no date, third one
which bore the date but had one witness only. In Deut.24:2, we can see that
“and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man.” The
meaning of a bill of divorce means a freedom to marry any man. She is free from
any obligations to her first husband and now ready to remarry to anyone.
We
also can see three reasons for no remarriage in Deut.24:4: “she has been
defiled,” “that would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord,” “it
would bring sin upon the land.”
According to the text, the first husband may not make defiled, if so she
would not be allowed to marry another one. But in verse 3, the second husband
is allowed to write a legal bill of divorce and to send her out. So, it means
she is still permissible to get the third husband. So the defilement is only
for the first husband and he is not allowed anymore to get remarried with the
wife married with another man. In Jer.3, we can see the same category like in Deut.
24:4. But in Jer. 3:12, 14, the wife (Israel) is told to repent and if she does
so, then the original relationship can be restored (12f).
So, the exception in Jer.3 is a heart of repentance.
In
Deut.21:10-14, we also can see that divorce is a permissible one. It is the law
to protect the captured woman. But there is a law related to divorce and
remarriage. Here if her husband is not pleased with her, he can let her go
wherever she wishes. But she should not be sold and treated her as a slave
because the husband makes her “dishonored” (v.14). Even to a slave, divorce is
a violation. Here the reason for the husband for divorce her is the phrase “if
you are not pleased.” It is relevant with Deut.24:1 that divorce is allowable
for sexually indecent behavior. However in Deut.22, we can see the solution for
the case of false accusation. In verse 13-19, it is prohibited to draw the
false accusations because of the unsatisfactory of sexual relationship. For
this reason, the accused woman is given chance to prove her virginity. If she
can prove, the husband must not divorce her as long as he lives. In very 28-29,
if someone rapes a virgin, he must pay
and marry that girl.
And He can never divorce her as long as he lives. Here we can notice original
intention of God on marriage that is for permanence.
In
the prophetic books, we can see the relationship between God and the
Israelites as the marital relationship. God has chosen Israel, made all the necessary
preparations and taken her as his bride. Manny verses mention God as the
faithful husband and Israel as the unfaithful and adulterous wife. So, God has divorced to the unfaithful wife,
Israel. However God wanted Israel’s repentance and back to home for remarriage.
He wanted to be reconciled with Israel, but the requirement is to return and
repent (Hos.2:2; 2:4; 14:1; Jer. 3:1-14; Eze.16; Isai. 50; 54; 62:4-5). The
book of Malachi especially in 2:16 is the only direct saying of God that “I
hate divorce.” There were two sins that Israel committed before the Lord. The
first one is mixed marriages; “marrying the daughter of a foreign god”
(2:11-12). Another one is divorce, “you
have broken faith with her” (v.14).
Based on those reasons, God said “I hate divorce.”
We
can draw three conclusions from Old Testament. First, divorce and remarriage
are not included in the original intension of God especially in creation order.
Second, divorce and remarriage are permissible but not mandatory in Moses’ law
along with the prohibition. Third, reconciliation is advised rather than
remarriage in the prophetic books. God is referred as a compassionate and
gracious husband who expects the return and repentance of Israel to be
reconciled. However, God declared that “I hate divorce.”
B. In
the New Testament
1. In
the teaching of Jesus
During
the time of Jesus, divorce is not a difficult and heavy one for the Israelites.
A man simply can write a bill of divorce in his own hand with date before two
witnesses. In the whole area of divorce in Israel tradition, the husband had
the right to divorce his wife, but the wife was not able to divorce her
husband. What she can do is she could come to the court to insist on a divorce.
She also can write a bill of divorce, but the need is the sign of her husband.
Herodias simply sent Philip a letter of separation to get married with Herod
Antipas. It is very exceptional that in the case of adultery the husband was
obliged to divorce the wife. In that situation divorce is mandatory. It is also
right under Roman law. Divorce is not a compromising one for Israelites, but
there is a hot debate on the legitimate grounds for divorce between Shammai and
Hillel schools. For Shammai school, only sexual immorality is the ground for
divorce, but for Hillel any ground. And it is accepted for Jewish teachers that
divorce allow both parties the right to remarry.
Jesus was born in that Jewish background gave a new teaching of divorce and
remarriage.
Let
go first to Jesus teaching about divorce and remarriage in the book of Mark,
the earliest gospel. In Mark.10:1-12, it is recorded Jesus’ teaching. The
question of Pharisees to Jesus was “Is it a lawful for a man to divorce his
wife?” (v.2) It is question test and trap. The answer what they want to
hear from Jesus was the opposition to divorce and remarriage. And it will have
an effect to Herod’s marriage to Herodias and Moses law in Deut.24:1-4. Jesus
knew their heart and asked to them “what did Moses commanded you?” (v.3)
They said “Moses permitted a man to wire a certificate of divorce and send
her away” (v.4). And here Jesus
explained to them the original intension of God to marriage. He said divorce is
permissible because “your hearts were hard.” The husband and wife are
united and they become one flesh, no longer two but one. And he said “anyone who divorce his wife
and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her
husband and marries another man, she commits adultery” (vv.11-12). It is
clear in Jesus perspective that the bond of marriage is valid as long as the
partner is alive whether they are separated or not. So remarriage is prohibited
and accepted as committing adultery. So, in the book of Mark, authentic divorce
or remarriage is impossible.
Luke
has a record in his gospel that “anyone who divorces his wife and marries
another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman
commits adultery.” (Luke.6:18) It talks about remarriage which is again
twice described as adultery. It is wrong to marry another woman after divorce
and also it is wrong to marry a divorced woman. Remarriage is actually
impossible one in the teaching of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
There
is also the record of Jesus’ saying about divorce and remarriage in the book of
Matthew. It is written in Matt.5:27-32 especially in verses 28, 31 to 32 and
Matt. 19: 1-12. In these scripture portions, Jesus reaffirms the law and goes
further its teaching. Jesus gave a new law that “anyone who looks at a woman
lustful has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In Jesus new
teaching, not yet doing but even a lustful look is already committing adultery.
What Jesus uses the phrase “but I tell you” express Jesus’ teaching as
the authoritative one and it set him apart from the Jewish teachers.
In
verse 32, Jesus mentions two very important statements.
The first is identical with the record in Luke, “anyone who divorces his
wife… causes her to become an adulteress.” In Luke, it talks about marrying
another woman is adultery, but here in divorce the husband causes his wife to
become adulteress. John Murry said that “it may be that in the act of adultery,
the woman is considered as more passive than the man.”
The husband is seen as the original cause of making his wife as adulteress. But
is does not mean that his wife is not adulterous. In the second statement, we
can see that “anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
The man commits adultery because it is accepted that the first marriage is
still valid in God’s sight. Divorce has a negative effect to the divorced
husband and wife even to the remarried or second husband. It makes them
adulterous one in the eye of the Lord. That means Jesus prohibited divorce and
remarriage.
Matt.19:1-12
is slightly different from the book of Mark. The question in Mark is “Is it
lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” and in Matthew, “Is it lawful for a
man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” But Jesus gave the same
answer. He quotes Gen.1:27 and 2:24 that God is the Creator who has joined them
together to be united as one flesh, “no longer two, but one” (v.6). And the
same saying can be seen that “I tell you that anyone who divorces his
wife…and marries another woman commits adultery” (v.9). Once more here in
this passage, it makes stress the moral obligation not to divorce. Divorce and
remarriage is not only impossible one, but also it is morally wrong. It is
committing adultery.
Here it is a reaffirmation of God’s original intension that man must not
separate what God has joined.
However,
Both in Matt.5:32 and 19:9, there is very exceptional phrase “except for
marital unfaithfulness.” According
to Arndt and Gingrich, it is “prostitution, unchastity, fornication, of every
kind of unlawful sexual intercourse.”
So, sexual immorality is the only exception that can allow divorce and recover
sin from making adulteress to the wife. But it is sure that whether a divorced
husband and wife, based on the exceptional one, will be freedom to be remarried
or not. Jesus’ teaching here is dealt with the Jewish and Roman law that
divorce in the case of adultery. It was also mandatory in the early church.
This exception is also mention in Matt. 19:9. It is the significance of
Matthew’s record from Mark. It is difficult to know the reason why omitted in
Mark, but Cornes said “…what stuck in his disciples’ minds, was not the
exception but the forbidding of divorce and remarriage.” So, the same record can be seen both Matthew
and Mark so that it is authentic that Jesus said those words. But the primary
intention of Jesus may be not allowing divorce and marriage, but not on
exception clause. In this verse, it is clear that divorce and remarriage is still
prohibited.
In
short, according to the teaching of Jesus, divorce is permissible, but not
mandatory. Jesus is agreed with the Law given by Moses that allows writing a
bill of divorce. However, He emphasizes on God’s original intention of marriage
in creation order that “a man will leave his father and mother and e united to
his wife and they will become one flesh.” He always makes stress “God has
joined them.” Divorce is allowed within the very exceptional on that is marital
unfaithfulness, but remarriage is claimed as adultery. However, in the overall
teaching of Jesus, divorce is not really encouraged. In the process of divorce,
the husband is judged as the one who make the wife as an adulteress. The
husband and the wife can become adulterers because of their remarriage. And the
divorced husband and wife are not allowed to be remarried with the third one.
The point is that, in Jesus’ teachings, divorce is prohibited through not
allowing remarriage. The reason is that marriage is for permanence in a life
time.
2. In
the Teaching of Paul
It
is important to see the teaching of Paul, author of two-thirds of the New
Testament, on the subject of divorce and remarriage. I Corinthian.7 especially in verses 10-15 is
the ground that can cover the overall teaching of Paul on these vital issues.
We can divide it into two parts. The first part is the reaffirmation of Jesus
teaching that “God’s own people are not to divorce.” (vv.10-11) .
It is the claim that divorce is not included in the original intension of God.
Paul said “I give this command,” but later in parenthesis He includes “not I,
but the Lord.” Divorce is prohibited for
the wife (“a wife must not separate from her husband”) and a husband (“a
husband must not divorce his wife”). Separation is not allowed to the wife
here. Even if she makes divorce, she is encouraged to remain unmarried and to
be reconciled to her husband. This recommendation on reconciliation is a
departure from Jesus’ teaching. But it is not clear that how long till we
wait for reconciliation. According to the suggestion of Stewart, we should wait
“as long as you love your mate.” In
these verses (10-11), no divorce and remarriage is the priority in Paul
teaching. And there is still good advice for “if” that is the reconciliation,
though not mentioning some genuine ground for reconciliation.
The
second part is Paul’s own teaching on divorce and marriage especially to mixed
marriages between believers and unbelievers (vv.12-15). He starts with the
phrase “to the rest I raise this (I, not the Lord).” Here Paul is
dealing with the cases that did not come within the context of our Lord’s
teaching. That means Paul was saying those verses in different time and
situation. However, the same point, no divorce is mentioned here. Even though
Paul encourage to marry with the immoral people (ICor.5:10), with love and
respect he prohibits to divorce the unbelieving spouses. It is mandatory to
believing husband wife that ‘must not divorce her.’ It is strongly
prohibited that divorce should not initiated by the Christians or believers
(vv.12-13). He even said that the unbelieving husband has been sanctified
through his wife and wife through her husband. According to William F. Luck, it
is “some special consideration by God” to unbelieving spouse through the believer.
Paul’s
teaching on verse 15 is very distinctive one. He said, ‘But if the
unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such
circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.” It does not mean that
the mixed or interfaith marriage is the ground that fulfills “is not bound,”
but it is the forsaking by the unbeliever. As it is mentioned, a believing
partner is strongly prohibited to divorce his or her partner. But Paul is
writing this passage based on the context of “willful dissertation on the part
of the unbeliever.”
It is adultery according to matt.5:32. In Paul’s teaching marriage is no longer
bound and no longer held by constraint of law. The former contract is no longer
binding. It means “freedom from all that the marital bond implied.” It
is the same in writing a bill of divorce in the Old Testament. The believing
partner is not commanded anymore to try for reconciliation. However, the
passage does not mention whether both of the believer or unbeliever is permissible
for remarriage or not. But it seems (for me) that both are allowed to get
remarried because a valid marriage is ended.
In short, we can draw three points from Paul’
teaching on divorce and remarriage. First, divorce is strongly prohibited and
it is a “must” and mandatory for a believer. Christians are not allowed to
divorce our partner whether he or she is believer or not. Second,
reconciliation is encouraged rather than remarriage for a Christian couple.
Third, for the case of unbeliever who is willing for divorce, it is allowed the
unbelieving partner to divorce. At the same time that believing partner is free
from the bound of marriage.
III.
In the Early Church
It
is good to give special attention to the perspective of the early Church to
marriage and divorce. But it does not mean that the views of the early Church
and their interpretation of the Bible is the final authority. It is undeniable
point that there is a gap between the day of our Church Fathers and today in 21st
century context. So, some of their interpretations and application of the Bible
is still valid and authentic for us, but some may not be incompatible for today
context. But concepts and practices in tradition always can be a good guide for
today. With that perspective, we will look some distinctive Church Fathers
focus on their Bible interpretation and perspectives on divorce and remarriage.
Hermes:
we can see the earliest Christian teaching on divorce in the Shepherd of
Hermas. It is difficult to know the exact date of the writing, but it is
guessed written around 140-150 A.D. It is believed that Hermas, a resident of
Rome wrote this book. Hermas started his question to his heavenly guardian that
what a man should do if his wife is guilty of adultery and persists in it. In
Mandate 4.1.4-10, we can see that, if the husband knows the wife is adulterous,
he should do “let him send her away (apolysato auten). The husband is not allowed to remarry; if he
does it is defined as committing adultery. If the wife repents and wishes to
return, the husband must take here back (but not often).
According this document, the husband is not allowed to sleep with his adulterous
woman and it seems allowing divorce to an unfaithful and unrepentant wife. But
he is not allowed to get remarriage.
Justin
Martyr: according the work of A.J.Bellinzoni and his analysis
of Justin’s First Apology (c.150), Justin was against remarriage after divorce.
It is written in chapters 15-17. In chapter 15, Justin gives examples of
Christian teaching on matters of sexual morality and quotes Matthew 5:28, 29,
or Luke 16:18b and Matthew 19:11-12. He said, “those who, according to human
law, contract double marriages (digamias), are sinners against our
master (didaskalo).” He emphasized Matt 5:32b/Luke 16:18b to point out marrying
a divorced woman as committing adultery. For him, it is forbidden bigamy
(having two spouses at the same time) and any kind of remarriage is sin. In his Second Apology (2:1-7), Justin
confirms Hermas’ teaching that a Christian should not stay together with an
adulterous spouse.
Athenagoras:
Around 177 AD, Athenagoras addressed his Supplication for the Christians to the
Emperors Marcus Aurelious Antoninus and Lucius Aurelius Commodus. According to
his defense of Christianity, he said, “whosoever shall put away his wife,
Scripture says, and shall marry another, committeth adultery.” Man is not allowed
to divorce his wife and remarry another wife. What he wanted to propose was
“one marriage and no more” and the purpose of marriage as procreation. For him,
the marriage should be once in a life time. As a biblical foundation, he took
Gen.1:27; 2:24 that “in the beginning God made one man and one woman.” He cited
literally Matt.19:9 and Mark 10:11and omitted the exception clause. His point was
Jesus absolutely prohibited remarriage after divorce and it is a contradiction
of the ordinance of creation. Irenaeus was agreed with Athenagoras and affirmed
the permanence of the marriage relationship.
Clement
of Alexandria: The great Alexandrian theologians
Clement (c.150-215) with Origen (c.85-254) opposed various heretics against
that devalued marriage and expounded the Christian view of marriage. For
Clement, based on the Matthean divorce passages, divorce is not allowed except
the fornication that is the only permissible ground for separation. However, it
does not mean that remarriage is allowed. For him, marriage of those separated
women (while their partners are still alive) is not marriage, but fornication. It
is very interesting to look Clement’s way of relating Jesus’ saying about
eunuchs to his prohibition of divorce and remarriage. Jesus talking about eunuchs
in Matt 19:12 is the proof texts of the Gnostic heretics for misogamy (hatred
of marriage). For this heresy, marriage was fornication so that Jesus was
single and advocated celibacy. For Clement, it is misinterpretation of the
context. And this scripture portion is not a calling for singleness. Those who
remain single after divorce and single for the sake of serving the lord are the
same position before the Lord. Moreover, for Clement, the remarriage of widows
are not allowed.
Origen,
one of the most influential theologians in the early Church and the most
prolific commentators on Scripture, defended Christian belief on marriage and
divorce. Especially in his commentary on Matthew, he stated the need of
focusing on the teaching of Jesus Christ. He quoted Romans 7:3 and said that it
is adultery to remarry while the partner is still alive. However, like Hermas,
separation is obligatory if the wife is guilty of fornication (Matt.19:9). In
his interpretation to I Cor. 7:3-4, husband and wife are equal when it comes to
conjugal rights. For him, a husband who does not satisfy the desire of his wife
is more blamable than a man who puts away his wife for a reason other than
fornication. It is always adulterous for a divorced woman to remarry
(Matt.5:32). In short, like Hermas and Clement, remarriage after divorce or
remarriage of divorcees is adulterous.
Tertullian,
the first great Latin theologian, emphasized the permanence of marriage. It is
mentioned in three period of his life: Ad Uxorem, written in 203 called
the orthodox period; Adversus Marcionem (c.208-211) and De
Exhortatione Castitatis (c.206) (Semi-Montanist period of his life) and De
Monogamia (c.217) in the Montanist period. In his earlier writings
Tertullian wrote as a private individual expressing a private conviction, but
later in De Monogmia he writes as the representative of a group,
expounding sectarian dogma. As a Montanist, he insisted the persistence of the
marriage bound after the death of one of the partners. For Tertullian, even
after a separation for immorality the couple remains husband and wife. So, the
innocent husband must prevent himself from committing adultery through
abstaining remarriage. And the guilty wife will be brought to repentance. For
him, Christ did not forbid divorce absolutely but permitted it in cases of
adultery. But this divorce permitted by Christ is not to put away his wife and
marry another.
Ambrosiaster
is very exceptional one and he did allow remarriage after some divorces. He
wrote commentaries on the Pauline epistles sometime between 366 and 383. In his
commentary on I Cor.7 he argued that divorce is permissible in cases of
fornication and an innocent husband could remarry in such circumstances but not
an innocent wife. The reason was that the man is not bound by the law in the
same way as the woman because the man is head of the woman. He also allowed a
Christian husband or wife deserted by a pagan spouse to remarry. According to
Ambrosiaster, remarriage is permitted to deserted Christians and to innocent
husbands in adultery cases.
In
short, the early Church fathers, except Ambrosiaster, gave one voice on their
bible interpretation and perspective on divorce and remarriage. All they were
agreed that, based Jesus saying on Matt.19:9, divorce is permissible in the
case of marital unfaithfulness. But it is strongly prohibited remarriage after
divorce. The main reason is their strong
belief on marriage as permanence. So, divorced man or woman is not allowed to
get remarried with another one while the divorced partner is still alive. It was
accepted as committing adultery. The expectation seemed that the adulterous
partner will have a life of repentance and hopefully they will be reunion.
IV.
Different Christian Views
In
the book, “Divorce and Remarriage” by H.Wayne House, four standard
arguments are presented from various positions as well as arguments and
refutations from each of the other three. The first view is “No divorce and no
remarriage” by J. Carl Laney, second “divorce, but no remarriage” by
William A. Heth, third “divorce and remarriage for adultery or desertion”
by Thomas R.Edgar and the last “Divorce and remarriage under a variety of
circumstances” by Larry Richards. And there is also another book named “Remarriage
after Divorce in Today’s Church: 3 Views.” The first view is “no
remarriage after divorce” by Gordon J. Wenham, second “remarriage for
adultery or desertion” and third “remarriage for circumstances beyond
adultery or desertion” by Craig S. Keener. If we compare these two books,
except the first view in the first book, all other three views are the same. In
short, according to these two books, there are four Christian views on the
subject of divorce and remarriage.
The
first view is “no divorce and no remarriage.” J.Carl Laney starts from God plan on marriage,
through studying on three words: leaving, cleaving and becoming one flesh, as
“God’s act of joining a man and a woman in a permanent, covenanted, one-flesh
relationship.” And he goes to divorce in Old Testament especially in Deuteronomy
24:1-4, Ezra 9-10 and Malachi 2. Then he goes to New Testament; Jesus teaching
in the gospels (Mark, Luke and Matthew) and Paul teachings especially in I
Cor.7. He concludes his writing with eight points: (1) the original intension
of marriage as permanence till death, (2) neither God’s Himself nor through
Moses commanded divorce, (3) the hardness of the people’s hearts was, explained
in the New Testament, the reason for divorce in Old Testament, (4) for Paul the
husband and wife are not allowed for leaving one another, (5) the remarriage is
permissible for a widow or widower, (6) remarriage following divorce bring an
act of adultery to the divorced husband and wife, (7) marriage to a divorced
person also constitutes an act of adultery and (8) the option of divorced man
and woman is only reconciliation or the single life.
So, divorce and remarriage is not allowed in the Bible.
The
second view is “no remarriage after divorce.” Divorce is permissible but
the bible prohibits remarriage. According to William A. Heth, divorce may be
permissible, in Jesus’ teaching, in the very exceptional case on marital
unfaithfulness. The exception for “porneia” allows divorce. However it
is not allowed to remarry after divorce. It is contrary to the original
intension of God on marriage and is a violation of the seventh commandment “you
shall not commit adultery.” (Deut.5:18) If divorce happen between husband and
wife, it is encouraged the sincere hope for reconciliation. Remarriage after
divorce is only allowed in the New Testament only when the death of one’s
partner. (Rom.7:2-3; I Cor. 7:39) Based on Matt.19:3-12, Heth divides the
history of marriage into three periods: “marriage in its ideal from in
Paradise,” “God’s kingdom under Mosaic
Covenant” and “when Jesus came.” According
to Heth, remarriage is allowed under Mosiac Covenant period, but since Jesus
came it is accepted as committing adultery.
The third view is “divorce and
remarriage for adultery or desertion.” According to Thomas
R. Edgar, “no verse in scripture explicitly teaches that marriage is
indissoluble.”
He said those who are inspired by marriage as indissoluble approach all the
biblical passages along with the assumption of no divorce and marriage. Among
nine passages about divorce and remarriage (Deut.24:1-4; Mal 2:6-16;
Matt.5:31-32; 19:3-12; Mark.10:2-12; Luke 16:18;
I Cor.7:10-15),
four of the passages seem to allow divorce and remarriage (Deut.24:1-4;
Matt.5:31-32; 19:3-12; Mark 10:2-12). In his interpretation, Matthew 19:9
indicates that “someone who divorces due to the exception and then marries
another does not commit adultery.” The
exception allows for a genuine divorce and at the same time to remarriage. After confessing his mistaken understanding
and interpretation on “no remarriage after divorce,” Heth
argues that Jesus will allow remarriage if he allows people to get a valid
divorce based on the exception. In Paul teaching, the believing partner is not
to divorce his or her unbelieving mate (I Cor 7:12-14). But, the exception is “but
if the unbeliever leaves let him do so.” A believing man or woman is not
bound in such circumstances; “God has called us to live in peace”
(v.15). As a bill of divorce make her free to remarry, Paul makes the same
point here. So, Paul allows the remarriage of the deserted believer.
The
last view is “Divorce and remarriage under a variety of circumstances.”
According Craig S. Keener, marital unfaithfulness is mentioned by Jesus because
it was the Shammaite position and willful dissertation is mentioned by Paul
because it was happened in Corinth. However, neither of them addressed the
issue of violence done to the wife and their children, the issue of drug
addiction leading to impoverishment and illegal raising money. According
to Larry Richards, the beginning point of this view is from “sympathy for
hurting people.” That
means compassion to the hurting people, women and children from an abusive
husbands and fathers. Christians are so much influenced by the logic thought,
“if A, then B.” Richards said this logic is faulty. What mention in the book of
Malachi “I hate divorce” (2:16) cannot be “God hates every divorce.” That’s why
Moses allowed divorce as an option and God demanded Israelites to divorce their
wives in Ezra’s day. Even in the age of the Law in Moses’ time, God graciously
allowed divorce and marriage. So, Richards’ question is how can we be so
legalistic to divorce and marriage in the age of grace? God is willing to
accommodate Himself to human weakness and frailty. Richards refers the God who
loves, compassionates and forgives the sins of the divorced and the remarried
husband and wife. So the author said we should allow divorce as a healing of
the marriage and remarriage with certain guidance.
All of the four views are really attractive
and organized. They are standing on the right foundation biblically and
theologically. But what we need is a balance on those four view based on the
situation and context of particular cases. I am really convinced with the first
and the last views. In theoretically, as the evangelical and conservative
Christian, I agree that God’s intension for marriage is permanence and it is
for a life time. And divorce and remarriage is out of God’s original intension
and it is a sin. So we should confidently say no to divorce and remarriage
except for widow or widower. And the last view is very practical and pastoral
solution for solving today issue of divorce and remarriage in the Church. It is
undeniable fact that the number of the divorced men and women are growing in
our own churches. It is very challenging to reject them as our members and as
leaders in Church’s activities. As we all are under God’s grace, all sins are
forgiven if we approach to the gracious throne of God with a heart of
repentance. The Church also should forgive them and accept them as what they
are. However, the Church should not forget that they need more counseling and
certain guidelines.
V.
Pastoral Action
As
Israel was chosen to be God’s representative among other nations, the Church is
the called out people of God as His agent for serving our particular world (communities)
with gladness. Every single Christian is responsible for the betterment of our
own communities. So, as the issue of divorce and marriage is a real fact and today
challenge for today Church, we should deal that challenging issue biblically,
theologically and practically. Christian Bible is also very serious on
marriage, divorce and remarriage. On the other side, the rate of divorce and
remarriage is higher day by day. The Church should not keep silent and stand as
a neutral. And it is not quite enough just with claiming historical, biblical
and theological facts and information, but practical and pastoral actions are
in need. In the following, as the suggestions I will mention contemporary needs
that demands urgent pastoral actions.
First,
we need thorough biblical teaching about marriage. Every
pastors need to prepare at least a sermon or teaching note concerning about
divorce and remarriage. We should give the more positive instruction on this
subject to our congregations. In other word, we can say that it is educating
people based on the biblical facts and principles. The Church is called to give
voices positively what God has said about the single life, marriage, divorce
and remarriage and to defend any wrong teachings on those subjects from the
biblical teaching. We should teach about the original intension
of God on marriage, the importance of family life, commitment and faithfulness
to our marriage, Christian forgiveness and love and respect to one another.
Second,
we need Christian counseling. Cornes takes notes that “reconciliation is the
most important ministry and responsibility of the Church.”
Stott also makes stress “the need for a reconciliation ministry.” The
Church needs Christian skillful and talented counselors to involve actively in
the process of reconciliation. As all members are under the care and counseling
of the Church, the pastor is responsible for the healing for every single couple.
Pastors should visit and talk to them with great love and concern. If possible,
every local church should organize a counseling board with the qualified
members. Sometimes pastor alone cannot solve the problem of divorce and
remarriage in the Church. Under the leadership of that board, the Church will
deal the marital problems come out from the congregations. However, the active
involvement of pastors and the board only are not enough, but every member
should active in reconciliation ministry.
Third,
we need pastoral ministry to the divorced and remarried persons. In every
church, there are many divorced men and women and they are in need of special care
and encouragement. On one side, the Church will teach the importance of
marriage and biblical prohibition of divorce and remarriage. However on the
other side, the Church should extend God’s forgiving grace to those divorced
Christians. The need is to bring them to a life of repentance without blame and
condemnation. In that process, balance is in need for not too much emphasis on
“maximizing sin while minimizing God’s forgiving grace,” and “maximizing God’s
forgiving grace while minimizing sin.” They
church must proclaim that divorce, wrong obtained is sin, and such sin is not
too big for God to forgive.
Finally,
the Church must have well and clear written bylaws and regulation for divorce
and marriage so that she can take disciplinary action for the one who commits
divorce and marriage without good reasons (unbiblical grounds). If someone in
our church or Christian organization gets divorced on unbiblical grounds, we
should take action step by step on the case according to our written bylaws.
The focus is to give time to repent what he/she did. Such action is necessary
to uphold the standard of Christian teachings, values, beliefs and behavior. It
also becomes a reminding and warning for others.
Conclusion
According
to the above short writing, we can draw and collect five major points. First,
divorce and remarriage is something what we are and we get through what our
evil desire choose and do. It is included in God’s creation order, but it is
the outcome after the Fall and human sinfulness. Second, the Bible, both the
Old Testament and New Testament, does not encourage divorce and remarriage, but
it is permissible in very exceptional cases. We can say that divorce and
remarriage is permissible, but not mandatory. Third, the historic fathers in
the early Church allowed divorce if the spouse committed adultery. But
remarriage was strongly prohibited (except Ambrosiaster). Reconciliation
was suggested if the woman was repent and had a desire to return home. Fourth,
Christians should claim “no” to divorce and remarriage, but we also must be
flexible on handling the divorced men and women in the Church. We should not
forget that God’s love and grace is greater than human committed sins. Finally,
Christian church must give a careful attention to this subject and must reflect
it with effective and practical actions. The Church should do atleast teaching,
counseling, pastoral ministry and written bylaws for facing today issue of
divorce and remarriage.
Strauss,
Mark L. Wenham, Gordon Heth, J. William A. and Keener, Craig S. Remarriage
after Divorce in Today’s Church: 3
Views. Grand
Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006.
Mark L. Strauss, Gordon J. Wenham, William A.
Heth and Craig S. Keener, Remarriage after Divorce in
Today’s Church: 3 Views (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006), p. 59.
